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Advice and Tips on how to Re-Discover Your Sparkle



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  • Sexy, Spirited and Strong: Becoming a Positive Energy Woman
    Sexy, Spirited and Strong: Becoming a Positive Energy Woman
    by Meloney Hudson
Fabulous Women

Tuesday
02Feb2010

What do you think?

DateTuesday, February 2, 2010 at 7:12PM

I know that as a woman it's often tricky and even difficult to get our points of view across, we might not even go there, because we don't feel confident enough.

I have found a gentle and subtle way to 'find my voice' to really say what it is that I want to say. There are three key areas that I practice on regular basis and that have brought me closer to who I am and my purpose in life, and that have brought my Sparkle back in life again. These are the areas:

  • Dancing, especially free-dancing
  • Writing
  • Thinking

Today I want to talk about Thinking. Thinking is something that we all do – most of the time our brain is just "thinking for us", or even "at us", if you know what I mean. I have met many people who say that they want to quieten their minds, there are so many thoughts going around and around that they sometimes feel quite overwhelmed.

Thinking is good, but only if you really listen to what it is that you are thinking. I started to have 'thinking sessions' with Jennifer about 7-8 years ago, I hardly knew her at the time, but the bonus of our thinking sessions is that we have got a lovely friendship, and it's a level of friendship that I would say is quite rare.

The whole idea of having thinking sessions is based on the book 'Time to Think' by Nancy Kline. She uses this technique with individuals in business and all walks of life.

Thinking to be heard

How it works is that you have a thinking partner and you can set up a session, for example for an hour. One of you is the thinker and the other is the listener. When it is your turn to think, the listener really listens to you, there are no interruptions, no questions raised, you know that there is space for you to think out loud and nobody will interrupt you – it's a precious time, we don't often get that in our lives really, not for that amount of time, especially nor for a whole hour.

So you think out loud, just say what's in you mind. Sometimes I have a topic to talk about, it could be something to do with my business or it could something that has occupied my mind for a while and I want to hear what it is that I'm really thinking about it.

Sometimes I don’t have a specific topic at all, I just want to think and to have those lovely ears listening for what it is that I want to say. What happens is that because I have this unconditional listening there for me, I sort out my thinking, I move on with my thoughts.

Often I come up with inspiring insights about myself, and my business. Sometimes I come up with solutions to something that I've been stuck with, something that I didn't know how to go about.

Here is a question for you…How would your life feel like, be like, if you had that kind of listening for you on a regular basis?


AuthorCim Bartlett | CommentPost a Comment |
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Tuesday
26Jan2010

How do you change your life without being hit by a bus?

DateTuesday, January 26, 2010 at 5:09PM

Do we as humans have to go though a life-threatening condition to change our life to the better, to start to live the life that we really want? Do you have to wait to be hit by a bus in order to do something about the way you live your life? The bus that 'hit' me was metaphorical, (needing a kidney transplant), but to rediscover your sparkle you don't have to go through what I did.

I have been looking into this for some years now. It can certainly help to be "hit by a bus", but I believe that no, you don't have to be faced with death or destruction to change your life. Also, just because you have gone through a difficult time and came out ok, doesn't automatically mean that you will live your life differently.

I think the reason that we want to change something in our lives, or even change our life, is that we want to change the way we feel. We might want to feel happier, healthier, more energised, have more love and passion, the list can go on and on. Here's what you can do – no buses involved!

Sorting out your relationships without actually doing it

One of the struggles that we have as humans is that we have unresolved underlying issues with people, especially with loved ones. What will help you to move on, to feel better, to live the life that you want and to feel healthy, is to sort these relationships out. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, and I'm not saying that because you working on sorting them out everything is going to be hunky dory with these people for the rest of your life. They might not even be ready to do this yet.

I'm sure that you have heard this question before, if you have, here we go again. If you knew that you had one day left to live on this planet, and if you wanted to leave this earth feeling complete with all your relationships, said everything that you want to say to people:

  • What would you say?
  • How would it make you feel?

Do this as an inventory - as a clean-up check list, or even a de-clutter list of your unfinished businesses with people. Write it down on paper, or record it or do something that suits you. If you feel it's too much for you to do on an emotional level, remember that you don’t have to do anything about it, it's just your opportunity to think through, making an inventory of your "stuff" that is holding your back in life especially holding back who you truly are, the true you.

What's next?

Now – here is the thing, you might think "ok – what do I have to do now"? Of course you could start to contact the people that you have on your list and say what it is that you really want to say to them, it's a really powerful way to get closer to the true you. But I know from my own experience that it might be very difficult to do, you might not feel that you can do it…yet…

Here is what to do. You start to work on the step before "this might be your last day on this planet action".

Decide what is the one thing that you can do for you that will bring you closer to yourself. It could be something like, "Every morning I'll do a 3-breath exercise to be in stillness", or something else that you feel will make you feel better about yourself, and frankly your life.

Be careful here, not to promise yourself something that is too big for you to do at the moment, like I'm going to go to the Gym 3 times a week from now on.

This action to decide what is the one thing that you can do for you, will really help you to get closer to the true you, and when you are ready, you will speak to the people that you know that you have some unresolved businesses with.

AuthorCim Bartlett | CommentPost a Comment |
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Friday
22Jan2010

There is hope for women who want to awaken sexually

DateFriday, January 22, 2010 at 6:46PM

When you hear or read the word 'sex' – what do you think? How do you react to it? If you feel uncomfortable, or perhaps sad, or annoyed, I encourage you to read this through and then see what you think. I am going to talk about having better sex, but not in the way you often read about in women's magazines, which go on about sex toys and different sex position to enhance your sex life with your partner, or husband.
 
Some of you might have heard about Tantra – and Tantra is something that I find really powerful as a personal development tool. It's important to be clear about that Tantra is NOT just about sex, Tantra has much more to offer.

First of all Tantra can help you to heal the relationship that you have with yourself, your body, and your sexual nature. You can heal emotional wounds from past relationships with others, to eventually get to the true you, the true person that you already are, the true you that have been hiding behind the fear of being rejected, the fear of getting into a new relationship that will not work out…again.

In my work helping women to re-discover their sparkle, I get inspiration from the Tantra world and I recommend people where to turn when they are ready to take a course or a workshop, or books to read, or some sort of step towards the Tantric journey.

I lost my sparkle – including my sexual energy

For years I felt that I lost my sparkle in life and I found life flat and with no purpose and sexually I felt flat, I felt that I had very little sexual energy left, frankly sex was boring. I knew it had nothing to do with my wonderful husband. On good days I thought "well it is part of life, it fades away eventually", on bad days I made myself wrong, something was wrong with me, and I didn't know what to do about it.

What I did know was that all these magazines and TV programmes about sex, wouldn't work for me. All these things that they tell you to "do", like buy these sex toys and it will work wonders …yeah right…And all these recommendations to try these new exciting positions and it will make you a sex goddess….yeah…right…What it did was to put me off even more about my sexuality and my self-worth got even lower.

Tantra can help you to find the sexy Sparkle again

Tantra is not the answer to everything and it's not for everybody, like anything else in life. But I want to invite you to have a look into what it is and see if it could be something for you to start to practise – as a personal development tool.

Tantra can help you to find that joy, or as I call it, to find that Inner Giggle in every day life. The effect of practising Tantra is about freeing yourself from old and painful patterns and behaviour to have a playful and spontaneous fun in sexuality and life.

I did a workshop in Sweden with Johan "Jay" Ekenberg, who runs workshops such as 'Do you really live the life you want?' and 'Sex – A Highway to the Divine'. I took the latter course and it really helped me to find a purpose in my life and to enjoy sex fully and to use my sexual energy in other areas in my life. To me Tantra as a tool has helped me to feel better and enjoy life much more and my relationship with my husband for nearly 20 years has taken off to a new exciting level.

Here is an interview that I did with Jay.



Here is another site where you can find more information about Tantra


AuthorCim Bartlett | CommentPost a Comment |
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Monday
18Jan2010

Respect - starting with yourself

DateMonday, January 18, 2010 at 10:04PM

Respect, Kindness and Nurturing are Feminine qualities according to Margi Ross author of the book 'The Conscious Feminine'.

I think this is really important to talk about – these three qualities, and many of us women have them within us naturally - and it's time to bring these qualities out, to make sure that these are more accepted and, yes, respected in our society.

I often hear that women want to feel more feminine and attractive. The first thing that springs to people's minds is probably the outer feminine look, but I'm not talking about that at all, even though I do think it is also important. I'm talking about the inner feminine qualities.

Struggled to be heard

I used to work in a big male-dominated company in Sweden as a communication officer. For about ten years I really struggled to be heard, to be seen and respected for my knowledge and interpersonal skills and expertise that I had (and still have…) about improving the communication and relationships in the teams.

I knew that I had a lot to contribute in my work, to really help teams, getting managers and leaders to communicate and work better together to make sure that they delivered better results in the business, and as a bonus, they would most likely have felt better about themselves and the other team members as well.

People told me how much they liked me as a person and when they had personal problems they often turned to me to seek help, which I liked, but they never really asked for my help when it was about the business.

We need the feminine qualities

So – what is this thing that people liked and still like about me and all the other women that are liked like that? It's the internal feminine qualities, Respect, Kindness and Nurturing that shine through and we all need these qualities around us as humans, frankly to feel better and possibly happier in life.

If you as a woman want to feel more feminine, you can do something about it. What you first need to do is to work on the Respect towards yourself.

What I generally mean by the word Respect is to respect people's qualities that they have as a person, for example, caring, loving, creative, warm, etc.

The first step to take is to start to practice to Respect your self:

  • Make a list of your inner qualities, don't worry if you find it tricky, give it time. You can also ask someone that know you, see what they think.
  • Each morning as you look in the mirror, take a full minute to say to yourself, "I respect you". Mean it. Get used to hearing yourself say the word respect. It will be easier to say and show to others if you can first learn to say it to yourself.
  • Then take one of your good qualities and add that to your sentence when you practice in front of the mirror, it could go something like this: "I Respect You for being such a loving, caring, warm, considerate, creative etc.
  • To practice Respect a bit more - add to the list other people's good qualities that you see in them. When you feel ready you can start to practice to say to them, "I Respect you for being so…"

 

AuthorCim Bartlett | CommentPost a Comment |
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Thursday
14Jan2010

Having Fun – what is that about?

DateThursday, January 14, 2010 at 8:28PM

Do you hear yourself sometimes saying “ I want to have more fun”? Are you one of those who would like to have more fun – I certainly am –I’ve been thinking a lot about this, what does it mean "to have fun"?

So – if you are one of those people, complaining about not having enough fun, ask yourself the question, what does fun mean to you? I think that without really thinking about if, we say that we want to have more fun, but we are not clear about what it is we want out of having fun.

There are lots of different ways to have fun of course, most of them are about perhaps attending an event, like going to the cinema, theatre, meeting some friends for a drink or two. These kinds of events are really good for a temporary uplift, feeling good for some hours and the uplift will possibly stay with you for some time after that, it depends in what state you are in life in general.

When you say that you want to have more fun, it means that you want to change what you feel. If you think about it – what do you want to feel? What feeling will fun bring to you? Be specific about it.

I want to feel light inside, a little buzz, a sparkly warm feeling. And I would like to feel that all the time, like having an inner giggle going on. Finding that Inner Giggle is one of the areas to work on to rediscover your sparkle.

First step to find that Inner Giggle

So how do we develop this inner giggle that I’m talking about? The first step is to do an inner smile practice for a couple of minutes every day:

  • Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
  • Take three deep breaths by breathing in slowly counting to three
  • Breathing out slowly, counting to three
  • Repeat three times
  • Start to smile, a really big smile,
  • Then imagine that you smile inside you, that you heart is smiling.

If you think it sounds weird or an odd thing to do – good – just continue anyway, have a go.

AuthorCim Bartlett | CommentPost a Comment |
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