Getting the Sparkle back - Part 2, Acceptance

When something happens to you that you don't want, like breaking your foot, as I wrote about in my last blog, I mentioned that acceptance is important to claiming your sparkle back again. What does acceptance really mean?

We all go thorough tough times in our lives sometimes, it doesn't really matter what level of hardship we are going through, it's about how we feel about the situation that matters, when life changes because of an accident like breaking bones in your foot.
When we are in a situation that we don't want we feel frustrated, upset, sad and angry, and we don’t' want to feel what we feel. If we can get to acceptance of the situation, it is a good start to feeling better again.

See things as they are

Acceptance to me also means to "see things as they are". Just play around with this for a while, don't take it too seriously. To "see things as they are" imagine stripping away all the emotions, interpretations and dramas around the event, what was is that actually happened? I know it can be difficult, but just have a go. When you see it as it is, what does the situation really look like? What do you see or feel?

It's completely human to have feelings, but often we get caught up in our feelings and it can be difficult to cope with situations and events that you don't want. Our lives are often run by how we feel, and sometimes, that we shouldn't feel the way we feel. What I believe is important is to really accept that all feelings are OK to have, and when you accept them as they are you will find it easier to “cope”, your sparkle will come back again.

It's important to see a situation as it is and allow your feelings to be what they are. It's not good for your health and well-being to suppress what you feel or to try to avoid your feelings, it will keep you away from the true you, who you really are and living your life to the full.

“Hurray” for your feelings, it's lovely to feel alive.

The first step to accept things:

What you need to do is to “walk through” what has happened, rather than trying to escape from it Typical ways of escaping are: using positive thinking (which can work, but just in the short term), burying yourself with work, or something else that will keep you busy.

Or, as for me, I got really upset, lots of sadness and anger that this happened to me, and I wanted an answer to why it happened. So, I was working on figuring this out by using my mind to get a reason to why it happened.

When I really looked into it, “walked through” it, I started to see that I would never get an answer, but more importantly, there was no point going there, it wouldn’t make a difference. And having done that, I suddenly started to be OK with the fact that I had broken my foot.

This is how you do it:

Breathe – take a deep breath in and then out.

Strip – imagine stripping away your emotions.

Notice – just notice where in your body you feel your upset (frustration, anger, sadness etc), don't try to feel anything different just notice it and stay with that.

Is that it? You might wonder. Yes – this is the very first step to accepting your situation, or as it were, accepting your feelings at the moment. What happens is that it changes from "This shouldn't be" to "OK where do we go from here?"

You might have to do this more that once, perhaps a couple of times a day for a period of time. I'll let you know what the next step is next week.